mddadsdeserverights.com
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The Author Page: On this page , we will be able to assist you with information on my past experiences and hopefully give some advice on what to expect in court, protective orders,child support and other items pertaining to divorce and separation.
*If you have any questions for me, feel free to e-mail me at jimmye@mddadsdeserverights.com*
*If you have any questions for me, feel free to e-mail me at jimmye@mddadsdeserverights.com*
What to Expect in Court:
1) Court is very intimidating, and if its your first time being in court for these types of situations or just first time in court period,its a whole new world.
2) Answer all questions clearly and thoroughly, but don't leave yourself open to stick your foot in your mouth during cross examinations.
3) Stick with your story, don't change up.Stick to your guns and DONT GIVE IN!!!!!!
4) Be a professional. You're a father. This is something that could possibly change the rest of your life.
1) Court is very intimidating, and if its your first time being in court for these types of situations or just first time in court period,its a whole new world.
2) Answer all questions clearly and thoroughly, but don't leave yourself open to stick your foot in your mouth during cross examinations.
3) Stick with your story, don't change up.Stick to your guns and DONT GIVE IN!!!!!!
4) Be a professional. You're a father. This is something that could possibly change the rest of your life.
What to Expect From Your Lawyer:
1) Your lawyer is your saving grace. He/She will guide you through the fires and hopefully put a lot of those fires out along the way.
2) Treat them as your friend. I know that lawyers, generally speaking, are "just out to get the money", but make your situation different. Make them believe that you are 100% interested in your case and that spending money is no object for the ultimate goal. Call them regularly, make them give you all information and keep them informed on yourself. REMEMBER, A LAWYER IS ONLY GOOD AS THE INFORMATION HIS/HER CLIENT IS FEEDING THEM.
3) Treat them as people. Put them in your situation to get them to understand your sincerity and how much the situation is so very important to you and your children. This is the rest of your life, for you and your kids and any decision that your lawyer makes, will and can change your relationship with your kids.
What to Expect From The EX:
1) There will be a lot of tension as court begins and some of the small battles are won. the more and more battles that you win, expect her to be more and more defiant to your wants and needs.
2) Stick to your guns and follow all visitation rules and custody rules and court orders. Do not ,under any circumstance, violate any court orders and /or protective orders, call your lawyer as soon as a situation arises. A small lapse in time could mean a violation or yourself ending up in jail over false charges.
3) Be careful, no matter how much the things she might say or try to use against you, mainly ,the kids, don't put yourself in a situation to get a protective order against you,especially if you have the upper foot. The judges will not, most of the time, give custody to people that violate their orders or laws in general.
1) There will be a lot of tension as court begins and some of the small battles are won. the more and more battles that you win, expect her to be more and more defiant to your wants and needs.
2) Stick to your guns and follow all visitation rules and custody rules and court orders. Do not ,under any circumstance, violate any court orders and /or protective orders, call your lawyer as soon as a situation arises. A small lapse in time could mean a violation or yourself ending up in jail over false charges.
3) Be careful, no matter how much the things she might say or try to use against you, mainly ,the kids, don't put yourself in a situation to get a protective order against you,especially if you have the upper foot. The judges will not, most of the time, give custody to people that violate their orders or laws in general.
What to Expect From The Court:
1) Your case is not any different that anyone else's. Please don't expect "presidential treatment". The judges have seen all people alike in all aspects. I will attest to the fact that the system is unfair and some of the decisions of the judges, you sometimes have to sit there and scratch your head and say " why did they do that". It doesn't and will not make sense that majority of the times. It will get very frustrating, but remember to just keep your cool. In my situation, they took my house, which was pre-marital property, and then on top of having shared custody, they still made me pay child support, even though I had the children 50% of the time. Since the mother didn't want to get a job and work, the court wasn't concerned. So, the most of the time, YOU WILL WALK OUT OF COURT FRUSTRATED. NEVER SHOW THE COURT YOU ARE INTIMIDATED OR FRUSTRATED!!!!!!! This will be the courts signs of "how to make you sweat". The Judges and Masters are trained to make you "slip up" in your speech and find a way to make you guilty by your own words. Even when the court makes a decision that you do not like, do not show emotion, act like that the decision they made was the exact decision you were expecting. Try not to make contact with the ex during testimony, she knows you best and how to make you twitch, so to speak. This will only get you stuttering and nervous. This is your life and this is your future. Stand fast and do not give in to the ex, because, you know as well as I do, that the first time, you give an inch, she will want a mile.
1) Your case is not any different that anyone else's. Please don't expect "presidential treatment". The judges have seen all people alike in all aspects. I will attest to the fact that the system is unfair and some of the decisions of the judges, you sometimes have to sit there and scratch your head and say " why did they do that". It doesn't and will not make sense that majority of the times. It will get very frustrating, but remember to just keep your cool. In my situation, they took my house, which was pre-marital property, and then on top of having shared custody, they still made me pay child support, even though I had the children 50% of the time. Since the mother didn't want to get a job and work, the court wasn't concerned. So, the most of the time, YOU WILL WALK OUT OF COURT FRUSTRATED. NEVER SHOW THE COURT YOU ARE INTIMIDATED OR FRUSTRATED!!!!!!! This will be the courts signs of "how to make you sweat". The Judges and Masters are trained to make you "slip up" in your speech and find a way to make you guilty by your own words. Even when the court makes a decision that you do not like, do not show emotion, act like that the decision they made was the exact decision you were expecting. Try not to make contact with the ex during testimony, she knows you best and how to make you twitch, so to speak. This will only get you stuttering and nervous. This is your life and this is your future. Stand fast and do not give in to the ex, because, you know as well as I do, that the first time, you give an inch, she will want a mile.
Dealing With The Center For Children:
1) Of all my dealings with the Center for Children, i have always been treated very fairly and they have always been upfront with me. My initial time was for me to have supervised visitation with my daughter, as my son was not yet born. I hated the fact of having to see my daughter in a supervised mode, but at least i was able to see my kid without dealing with the ex, which was a good thing, I just might add.
2) The Center for Children will only listen to the initial assessment, so any thing you feel you need to tell them, please tell them at that time. They will always be honest with you and be there to listen and address any concerns.
1) Of all my dealings with the Center for Children, i have always been treated very fairly and they have always been upfront with me. My initial time was for me to have supervised visitation with my daughter, as my son was not yet born. I hated the fact of having to see my daughter in a supervised mode, but at least i was able to see my kid without dealing with the ex, which was a good thing, I just might add.
2) The Center for Children will only listen to the initial assessment, so any thing you feel you need to tell them, please tell them at that time. They will always be honest with you and be there to listen and address any concerns.
Dealing With Social Services:
1) You should only have to deal with social services if some kind of allegation was made against you, your significant other, if that person applies, or anyone else that the ex decides to attack.
2) Give them all the information the want and need. In my case, I gave them all court documents, counseling reports, mental health evaluations, etc.etc. After all was said and done, social services became interested in my case. The authorities were involved and were very intricate and thorough in their investigation of myself. There were many instances that they would come over to do an investigation and my stomach would drop, the allegations were absolutely sickening. Social Services can be an ally or hindrance. Just make sure that you treat them like the professionals they are and remember, they too are parents, and when you truly stand your ground with them, they can be very helpful.
1) You should only have to deal with social services if some kind of allegation was made against you, your significant other, if that person applies, or anyone else that the ex decides to attack.
2) Give them all the information the want and need. In my case, I gave them all court documents, counseling reports, mental health evaluations, etc.etc. After all was said and done, social services became interested in my case. The authorities were involved and were very intricate and thorough in their investigation of myself. There were many instances that they would come over to do an investigation and my stomach would drop, the allegations were absolutely sickening. Social Services can be an ally or hindrance. Just make sure that you treat them like the professionals they are and remember, they too are parents, and when you truly stand your ground with them, they can be very helpful.
Dealing With Court Appointed Counselors,Mediators,Domestic Violence Counselors(Walden Sierra) Etc.
1) When dealing with any person or persons that you were ordered to see, make sure you are truthful in all of your words and statements. these authorities are trained professionals that are eager to see a flaw in someone and make it your fault. In my case with Walden Sierra, they tried to make me the bad guy when I really wasn't. I was ordered 26 weeks of domestic violence counseling by a judge based on false allegations by the ex. I was in a room with other people that had laid their hands on a woman, beat a woman, etc. I was in there simply for raising my voice to the ex. Just remember that in the state of Maryland, if both parties are awarded domestic violence counseling, the woman doesn't necessarily have to go "due to her being a victim". If you find yourself in this situation, as I did, attend all classes, voice your opinion and most of all, no matter how bad it is in there, COMPLETE THE COURSE. Rest assured that if the man never completes the course, the ex will bring it up and it will not look good in the courts eyes.
2) Never admit your guilt unless you are guilty. If you do not belong in the course, stand your ground, just remember, in situations like domestic violence counseling and anger management, the counselors believe that everyone is guilty. They will not treat you any different. Voice your opinion and state your case. If you don't speak up, they will send a report back to the court saying that you are not participating, that could backfire. I would recommend that if you are going to these classes, SPEAK UP. The court cannot hold your opinion against you.
1) When dealing with any person or persons that you were ordered to see, make sure you are truthful in all of your words and statements. these authorities are trained professionals that are eager to see a flaw in someone and make it your fault. In my case with Walden Sierra, they tried to make me the bad guy when I really wasn't. I was ordered 26 weeks of domestic violence counseling by a judge based on false allegations by the ex. I was in a room with other people that had laid their hands on a woman, beat a woman, etc. I was in there simply for raising my voice to the ex. Just remember that in the state of Maryland, if both parties are awarded domestic violence counseling, the woman doesn't necessarily have to go "due to her being a victim". If you find yourself in this situation, as I did, attend all classes, voice your opinion and most of all, no matter how bad it is in there, COMPLETE THE COURSE. Rest assured that if the man never completes the course, the ex will bring it up and it will not look good in the courts eyes.
2) Never admit your guilt unless you are guilty. If you do not belong in the course, stand your ground, just remember, in situations like domestic violence counseling and anger management, the counselors believe that everyone is guilty. They will not treat you any different. Voice your opinion and state your case. If you don't speak up, they will send a report back to the court saying that you are not participating, that could backfire. I would recommend that if you are going to these classes, SPEAK UP. The court cannot hold your opinion against you.
